Value of Equanimity

The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as "abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility and without ill-will."
Wikipedia

2 incidents happened in my life in June. Both were hostile, and took me to the edge of my patience. One at the office and the other at the home front. A review of the 2 incidents made me realize that my classification of home and office was a bad effort to justify the incidents. Looking back, to that specific moment, in each case, I was profoundly helped by a teaching I read sometime back.

" serenely stays with the good and the bad, understanding them both to be kamma – processes rather than personal belongings " Meditation: A Way of Awakening , Ajahn Sucitto

These 2 lines saved me on both days.
I will list down the sequence of events which is identical to both incidents.

1. There was a conversation.
2. The conversation had nothing to do with me, I was a listener. A passive element in the system.
3. Then the atmosphere changed suddenly, to a raging fire of accusations. The calm and sedate conversation was launching in to a boiling cauldron of emotions. Still I was a listener.
4. Then the climax. I became the point of accusation. Still I was a listener. But the situation demanded a response from me. The faces around me turned to me, waiting for my response.
5. Only I knew that I was blamed for something that was not my doing. Yet explaining that would have added more fuel to the fire.
6. My immediate inclination was to react. I almost blurted out something. But then I stepped back and thought. And I stayed still. For a moment I understood this was a process, and I should not take any part of it. 

It demanded a new skill to transcend. Equanimity is the skill that allows us to see things as they are. We usually attach our emotions and biases to situations. I took a deep breath and analyzed the situation.

At office, I needed a collective approach, and I made sure whole team gelled towards the organization's goals and mission. And I took the responsibility to improve the communication between individuals.
At home front, I remained silent until the emotions were over. I did not add any fire, rather I dragged my self away from it. It was very tense. I could almost feel an invisible nudge to put my defenses forward. Keeping silent I was able to generate alternatives to the issue raised. The patience paid off. The fire was over, and everybody felt the effect of it. Then few days later it was easier to communicate on the same thing and reach a mutually benefiting solution.

Looking at things as processes and not attaching any name tags to it, bring forward the real issue. That is clarity. Taking responsibility and may be sharing it, is the maturity.